I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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