i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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