i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
