Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
