is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
