32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
