Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
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today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
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Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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