We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
