Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
