actually, I'm a sock model
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
