ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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