Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
