So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Sober January is a disaster.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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