i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
