I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just googled if crying burns calories
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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