One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm always down for nudity.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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