Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Can Purell be used as lube?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
