Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
this is an emotional support booty call
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
