my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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