i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
