rhymes with "ouble enetration"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize