ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
