Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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