I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
