I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
