Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Bring me that man meat
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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