just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
