just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
