New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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