my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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