I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
