My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
