he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
