He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
