My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
