meet me or not, i'm out of control
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My breasts were aching with rage.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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