Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
