UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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