I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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