Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
