my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
