IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
