Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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