She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
