Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
