If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
