So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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