This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
