oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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