Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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