She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
