I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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