So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
