I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
