Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
