all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
