WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
