is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
