another moral hangover. fuck.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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