super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He told me they were just razor bumps!
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
