All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
handjob tips. give me some.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize